Monday, May 4, 2009

Falling On My Knees...

"I'm falling on my knees, Jesus you're all this heart is living for."

This is my prayer!

Oh, how my mind is full, can't quite keep it all together. Jeremy Camp reminded me of this tonight while I was on the treadmill. This is where I need to be.

Tears over fill my eyes as I am a bit overwhelmed and too consumed. This isn't a pity me blog but its my journal and so therefore I am spilling my heart. I am letting you in, into my heart and mind.

We are missing Casey, our heart is not complete. We are so blessed and thankful to be part of the Express but at the same time reality is hitting me that it is summer time. Which means very few days that we will see each other the next few months. Very few days and very few hours in those days. I mean, I can probably fit them on 2 hands. As Ace gets older this has become harder and harder. Harder for all 3 of us! Its getting harder and harder to miss out on family and friends, their gatherings, birthdays, celebrations, and more... their lives. I know often when I get consumed its my family that takes most of it... Casey and Ace thank you for your unconditional love! And our families, thank you! Thanks for keeping me sane! We rely so heavily on our families and COULD NOT pull this off with out them. We are forever in debt.

My plate is full. A total blessing, Thank You Jesus. However, I need to be reminded to keep my eyes upward on "the prize!" God is so real and so part of everything, all of this. Every good and perfect gift comes from Him. I so needed this tonight, reflection. To slow things down, I've been so consumed and out of it.

I know the devil attacks. Attacks me with worry and the filling up of my schedule. Busy-ness is a weakness of mine. It consumes me. As my mom often reminds me to take it one day at a time, I am trying...

The days are ticking, I am staring at the clock wishing it would slow down. Bandit's season in less than a month. USA try outs in a month. I need to go warp speed, this is on the fore front of my mind. I know I need to be on the mound daily at this point. Lord, my prayer is your will. I need to remind myself of this. You have a plan, I need to follow, with all of me, follow. Many times the Lord has slowed me down, reminding me of why I am here and my purpose. Again, I think/know He is talking to me.

A lot of great things happening, so much to be thankful for. I know I've been avoiding me in my journals, they have been mostly about Ace and Casey. They are what I love to talk about it its easy for me. Its been such a joy to slow down a bit and to be a wife and experience motherhood. I know the Lord has called me to use the platform of softball for Him, at the same time. He will provide, I'm looking to him to help pull this off.

So, I will let you in on a few fun/stressful blessings on the rise. Please notice fun is first, way ahead of the stress part. All such a blessing.

-My Camps, we put on with a host, Jennie Finch Softball Camps, across the country. We have 420 girls for this weekend in Oklahoma. Praise God, the glory is His! We have 6 dates for this fall that will be posted next week. 6 dates... 6 states, 6 stops! Awesome! This was a vision God gave me/us (my family, amazing family) and by His grace it has become a reality!

-Planning/Preparing to film a pitching DVD. This is so over due. However, I trust the Lord is at work and its His timing. Perfect timing! I can't wait to share this with the softball world and have it available come this summer.

-Diamond Nation, Jennie Finch Softball Academy partnering with Jack Cust Baseball Academy in Flemington, New Jersey. There are great people leading the way to the opening. A lot of work needs to be done to get it where we need it to be, we will get there. Exciting stuff, making softball year around in Jersey!

-Revamping of my website! So fun! Can't wait to show you all the final product. We've hired an amazing company to update and relaunch my website. Keep checking, www.JennieFinch.com

-Bandits Season, so excited! Can't wait to get back to Chicago, in pants (love our uni's)! Looking forward to being apart of an amazing team and league!

-USA Softball, always a complete honor.

-Teaming up with the charity nPlay

-Check out the cool stuff at WePlay.com, and register your team!

-Excited for the invite to play in the MLB All Star Celebrity Softball Game in St Louis in July!

-Appearances/Speaking

Lots of incredible things happening! All this summer, more like next month.

Hopefully to top it all off come October we will get word that Softball will be back in the Olympics for 2016!!!

All of this is just stuff, blessings but stuff. Lord you again reminded me of this is so much bigger than me. Enough of stress and enough of me. You humbled me again, again I lean on you in prayer.

My final prayer...

I was just notified this week of yet another softballer Ms. Hannah, facing cancer. She was diagnosed with Breast Cancer and is only 10 years old. I want to ask you all to keep Ms. Hannah in your prayers as she battles this terrible disease! We are all rooting for you Hannah!

Lord, Thank You for speaking to me tonight. A weight is lifted off my chest, up to you. Take it all, its all yours. I'm falling on my knees, offering you all of me! Give Hannah the strength and courage to fight and conquer this horrible disease!

By His Grace & His will,
Dreaming & Believing in Him,
#27

10 comments:

Dustin and Carrie said...

What an amazing post, Jennie! So powerful! I'll be praying for you, Casey and Ace. I know how much you'll miss your time together over the next few months. You're a wonderful wife and mother, never forget that. I know your families are great & so helpful but if you ever need anything or any help with Ace, I'm only a couple hours away:) Good luck this summer! Love & Miss you!!

Alissa Chenetski said...

you are amazing and yes not only the lord is behind you as am I and all your other fans. : ) I live in Columbus, Oh but I am traveling to Akron to see you play in July and to DC to see you in June! Can't wait it is softball season my favorite part of the year!

Jeff and Alysa Bajenaru said...

You have quite the busy summer! Alysa and I will be thinking of the 3 of you as you face the prospect of being away from each other so often during this season in life. Amazing post by the way. It's awesome what you hear from God while you're running! Have a great summer and tell Casey hi for the both of us. Joe enjoys checking out Ace's sweet ride! Love, Jeff & Alysa

Beautiful Daughters said...

Jennie thank you for sharing your heart. For some reason I have felt the need to pray for you and your family lately. Oh I love how God works. Being a mom and a wife is such a wonderful and hard thing to do. As Beth Moore put it in the Esther study "It's tough being a woman"
This verse has been a life verse for me lately. I pray that it blesses you too!
Matthew 6:34 MSG
"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes."
Father I pray over this family and I pray that you will give them the strength to endure what ever hard things may come their way.
Thank you Jennie for the wonderful work that you do! What a great role model you are to our #23 Emily.

Rachel

Bianca said...

Jen,

As a best friend and witness to how God moves in your life, I'm SO amazed and blessed you opened up like this. I feel so connected to you through this post. The whole fam is in my prayers!

Just say the word and I'll be on a plane to WHEREVER you are! Louisianna, LM, Arizona, Chicago, or Botswana... in a heartbeat.

c.hill said...

"One thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
- Philippians 3:13-14

I'd really like to share some of my designs with you! :]
Will the Bandits be meeting with fans after the Philadelphia Force game in Philly?

Keri Mikulski said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Keri Mikulski said...

Wow, what an amazing post.

You truly captured so much emotion in your writing, Jennie. Thanks so much for sharing this with the world. After reading, I'm reminded to put all my worries and anxiety in God's hands. Thanks.

krazysexykewl33 said...

Jennie,
This is why we love you so much and I adore reading your entries because you are not afraid to share yourself with everyone and in that it helps others. It's only human to feel the emotions that you are feeling. Being away from those you love, there are times when it feels like your heart is going to break into pieces. All you can do is hold on and count the days till the next meeting. But you are surrounded by love. Casey and Ace are your heart and no matter where they are..that doesn't change. Your family is such a great support system. Know that your friends and fans also are praying and holding you up. And last but most importantly, your faith will uphold you through any and all weak moments you will have.

Your summer sounds crazy busy and filled with amazing blessings and opportunities. Just take one day at a time and embrace each moment. Will be keeping your family and Hannah in prayer. You don't always have to be Superwoman Jennie..we got your back :)

xoxo
Trisha :)

Mikayla said...

Jennie you are my hero softball is my favorit sport i really hope it will be put back into the olympics. my alltime dream is to play on the USA softball team.
I know that the powerful work of god hannah will win her battle with cancer. I am 13 years old i would really like to meet you someday. I live in Kansas. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. May god bless you and your family. Mikayla